How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

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What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

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what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

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Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

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Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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