What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

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Grandma walked into the kitchen...

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

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What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

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Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

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Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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Why did the Kek Kick Ben? Cause Ben kicked Kek's Kik. KEKEKEK

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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