What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

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what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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what is small and is not fair Mitt Romneys tax rate

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Racial Equality.

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Barack Obama.

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

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What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

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What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Bitches Like U Belong In The Zoo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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