A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

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whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

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Hello penis

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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