How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

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Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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what is small and is not fair Mitt Romneys tax rate

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

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Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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