A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What's a slang term for a really, really fat person? Overweight.

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What's the difference between a catcher's mitt and Lou Ferrigno? If you seriously said "I don't know, what?" I suggest getting a medical examination by a professional psychologist.

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How do you make a wall a darker shade of red? You throw the baby harder.

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have you tasted chocolate flavoured slurpee? no. i haven't either

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? One has a penis, and one has a vagina.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

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What do u call a black guy with a gun? A police officer u racist bastard

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^that joke a piece of shit

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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I met an Asian man in Beijing, and he had very small feet. You know why? He was a midget.

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What's big, grey and can't climb a tree? A parking lot

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A caterpillar walks into a bar. I don't know how he opened the door.

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If you looked up stupid in Webster's dictionary, you wouldn't see a picture of yourself, because Webster's dictionary doesn't have pictures.

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What's black and fun to hang from trees? Tire swings.

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what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

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How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

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what is the difference between coke and pepsi? -they are competing soft drinks made by different brands

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What would you rather do or drag a board?

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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What has wheels and flies? An Airplane

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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Men, get on the boat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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