Your maternal figure contains so many Triglycerides, her belt size is greater than or equal to the circumference of the Earth.

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how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb just 2 but it beats me how they got in there

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whats worse than finding out you have Alzheimer's? Finding out you have Alzheimer's

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six affender.

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A man walks into a bar with a sad-looking face. He orders a strong drink. The bartender asks him "What's wrong? You seem down." The man answers "Well, tough week. My wife was raped and murdered and my son was hit by a bus."

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Q: What's better than ice cream? A: Two ice creams! Q: What's better than 2 ice creams? A: Still two ice creams!

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A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

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Yo mama so fat... Her doctor told her she's morbidly obese and she has 2 years to live if she doesn't change her eating habits and exercise regularily.

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If you looked up stupid in Webster's dictionary, you wouldn't see a picture of yourself, because Webster's dictionary doesn't have pictures.

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So a catholic priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

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Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

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Stewie: MOM! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! Lois: WHAT!!! Stewie: Hi, hehehehehehe. Family Guy -Louis

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What did the guy who killed Osama Bin Laden say? Burn!

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What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? bullshit!!

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Why did the black man break a woman's ribs? Cardiovascular resuscitation is an emergency procedure often used outside of hospitals to revive unconscious individuals before medical professionals are able to intervene. Sometimes having your life saved comes at a cost.

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what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interupting cow Interu--- MOOOOOO!!

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if you have hair on the palm of your hand you might want to get that checked out

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american government

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1 Jew XD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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