what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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you ever put a vibrating phone on your b a l l s ???

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What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

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finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

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William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

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Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Goldfish

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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9/11

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what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

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Why did the color blind man cut the red wire and accidentally blew himself up and all the other people involved in the situation? Because he didn't know how to defuse a bomb.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

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What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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My brother found snow in his hair from last year... only people who know me know this joke!!haha -sopie

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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