What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

There was this women at a banana festival, but she didn't like bananas. So she split

Stewie: MOM! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! Lois: WHAT!!! Stewie: Hi, hehehehehehe. Family Guy -Louis

Why did the girl fall off her bike? Someone threw a piano at her.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Mind your own business.

Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

who is mark

connor sucks

Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

A giant watermelon falls on a man He's dead

What do you call a dancing panda bear? I'm not sure, but panda bears are pretty big, so the possibility of them dancing is highly unlikely.

In the movie Inception, what does the man do after he thinks about calling out to his children so he could see them one last time? The man calls out to his children.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? NOT SALLY

Pickles

THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

neil patrick harris

Why did little Lucy climb up a tree? Cos her dad beats her.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

Q: why do shower heads have 11 holes? A: Jews only have 10 fingers

What do two siblings have in common? They both want the other to get hit by a bus.

KKK

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

Hi my name is Jim

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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