What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

Why was the lemon not feeling well? Because it had lemon aids.

Shotest joke ever... Your dick.

did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

What's red and hurts you? A brick.

How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

Women's Rights.

A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

why are the inside of a black mans hand white? cotton residue

Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

Knock Knock Yes?

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

how do make you a child cry? break his fingers

Me: I have a great knock knock joke but you have to start it off. You: Knock knock Me: who's there? You: silence as the person is confused as what's going on

What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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