How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard -you throw them.

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What do you call a man who walks at your door in a Saturday morning? A jehovah witness.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain. Chuck promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense.

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What was everyone doing in the library? Reading

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What is red and itchy? Something that itches and it turns red if you itch it to much

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What do Michael Jackson and your family have in common? They're both dead.

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tobi is so gay that he is the mayor of sanfrancisco

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Tuberculosis

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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Out on the playground of a school, extremely young kids are acting as living witness to an audacious thing. They're watching a very interesting display of strength and brutality. They're observing a enactment of lofty potential and great might. What're they watching? They're regarding their principal getting promptly arrested by the federal police for possession of technically illegal weaponry including, but not only limited to what looked like to them: peculiar "fire crackers" and reloadable "candy dispensers". In the ensuing battle, their principal got shot in the arm and a random pedestrian got killed by a stray bullet. In the end, the cruel joke's on them. Guess what? They're irrepairably damaged for the rest of their life.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? Because Johnny's a goldfish.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being shipped to KFC.

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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What is the best place to get watermelons and fried chicken? A Watermelon grove and a popeyes and/or KFC

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Knock knock Who's there? A very long space I see what you did there

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what do you call a blonde that spends fifteen thousand dollars at a bar? an alchoholic.

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Bailey you suck at writing anti jokes quit!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :(

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What's the resemblance between a chicken? Its legs are approximately equal, especially the left one.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Goku: KAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Freezebox: HOLY SHI... Narrator: Will Goku ever finish his attack? Will Freezebox stand there like a fucking bitch afraid for the next 48 damn epiodes rather than take a step to the side? Will the "Zee" fighters ever do anything else but comment the trucking obvious and stop aborting the show with their sweat? Find out in the next episode of... Moral: DRAGONBULL ZHIT!

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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