What do you do if you really really hate someone? You kill them. HEEE HEEE! by drew and jubie

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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Wanna here a funny joke Oh right. You can't hear

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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Roses are red violets are blue I would test our new water bed so be carefull with your helled shoe!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was free-range.

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How do you make a baby float? Take your foot of its head.

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What do you call a young man holding a banana? Well, this joke had quite a good ending, but as this site only has anti jokes I am going to change the ending. Because he wanted to eat it.

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Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?

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Knock knock Who's there Santa who santa hates you and that is why you got nothing for Christmastime

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School

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait; it would be quite unsanitary to talk about my genitals in front of you.

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hi im paul ! im an alien :D tyuioyt5rtyuikfuhgdehjdhfghjhgfjjhfjfjdjdjd i pe out of my finger :D

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What is the science of classifying living things? Racism...

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Why did Osama bin laden plan 9/11? Same reason Justin bieber was born....

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly 10 consecutive times in the head with a knife.

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A brown haired woman walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor it hurts whenever I touch myself." The doctor says, "Strange, I have never heard of such a disease. Please show me." The woman touches her leg and screams,"Ow!" Then she touches her arm and screams again. The doctor asks, "Are you a natural brunette?" The woman replies, "No, I am a blonde." The doctor says, "Oh, that explains it. You have a broken finger. God, you are so blonde." The woman gets her finger treated and then lives in agony for the rest of her life due to her untreated broken leg and arm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got mercifully trampled by a nearby 18 wheeler.

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Penis.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

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What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

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How are you? Yes

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what is worse then going to school farlingaye

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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