I'm gay. No homo.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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It burns when I pee sometimes.

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how do you make a blonde snowman? hollow out the head.

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knock knock whose there? my penis.

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How do you get a black man to use a condom? You explain to him all the benefits of safe sex.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS.

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

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How do you kill a dinosaur with a spoon? You cant because they are extinct creatures

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A mexican Police officer walks into a crime scene. "Ouch." he exclaims, rubbing his forehead where a red bump is already surfacing.

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What do you get when you cross a fan with a child? A mess that you now have to clean up.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely ask him to come down

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Your mother is so fat. But I'm fine with it.

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how do you make a dead baby float? take your foot off its head.

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what did one picture frame say to the other? Well you could answer with hows it hanging but thats not logical because they are inanimate

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? In a desperate, but unsuccessful attempt to save his mothers life, as a serial killer pulled her into his van

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What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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how to you kill a black man. with a weapon.

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knock knock come in

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Q: How many 3 go into the number 102,351? A: Yes.

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Spread the net.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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