Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

javascript:alert("your own");

What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

Why is a blonde a door knob... Because everybody gets a turn

Kenny died. The Bastards.

What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

what did the parapelegic (limbless) kid get for his birthday? Heart failure

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm Blind.

Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

What's red and hurts you? A brick.

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The black guy because the Mexicans was recently aressted for a dwi and had his repealed. But lately he has worked towards cleaning his life up. They were actually driving to an AA meeting.

What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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