Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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What did the dad do immediately do after his child died? Cleaned off the knife.

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What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Generally one, however, in cases where the light fixture is unusually high, a ladder may be necessary. Some people like having a second person hold the ladder as they climb it. In this unconventional circumstance, it would take precisely two Jews to change a lightbulb. Also, Jews are bad people.

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What do you call a flying jew? Smoke.

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How did the suicide bomber die? Cancer.

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Whats green all over and travels at 100mph A christmas tree in a gokart

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What's worse than doing the dishes with long sleeves? Finding out your girlfriend's been cheating on you.

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so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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Mrs. Welsh

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why did the man tell a joke? to make people laugh

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A blonde and a brunette are out for drinks. The brunette goes home early as she has to be up the next day.

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Q: Why do so many people write "So a man walked into a bar" A: Because they lack the intellect to think of something creative, and still other peoples material.

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Yo mama is... a very nice person, and her cooking is exquisite.

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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A son went to ask his father about his thoughts on abortion. "Dad, what do you think about abortion?" "Ask your sister." "I don't have a.."

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What did the Mexican man say to the American man? Nothing. Neither of them spoke the same language.

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What is the greatest anti-joke ever told? I had it right here, but I lost it when I was being raped by a Triceratops.

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Why did the chicken cross the road it didn't, it was hit by a bus.

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Stephen Hawking raped your mom

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what did the little boy say to little girl? I shit bricks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops