3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to your house Knock knock: whos there? The chicken duh

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YOUIR MAMA IS SO UGLY THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO PLASTIC SURGERY TO BETTER HER APPEARENCE

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hey i just meet you and this is crazy but i picked out our wedding cake and named our 4 future children :-)))))))

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knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

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A man walks into a bar.

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Why didn't the man finish his dinner? His dinner was a wheelchair.

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What happened to the newlywed couple who couldn't tell the difference between KY jelly and window putty? All their windows fell out.

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Why was the 45 year old man crying? He shit his pants.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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When Life gives you lemons... Squeeze the juice right back into Life's eyes!

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When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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The cow says MOO. Until you shoot it.

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A thin man walks into a Grocery Store. He trips, hits his head and is killed instantly. There are several children present and they are scarred for life.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away." -Louis

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Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

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If I had 10 cents for every time a hobo asked for change i still wouldn't give him any money

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"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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whats blue and fuzzy?.... blue fuzz

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what did the horse say after the man told him to have a good day? nothing, horses dont talk.(:

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so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

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What is dull and has no point? A pencil without its point

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops