How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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What do you call a black man? Jamal

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, who shat in my garden

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What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Twenty-Four

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I was walking through the woods the other day when I heard a rustle in the bushes... So I went over and said, "Russell, What are you doing in the bushes?"

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Why did Susie fall off her swing? She had no arms Nock nock Who's there? Not Susie.

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Eine blonde Frau mit ihrem Sohn in Walmart, da sie die Lebensmittel-und Getränkebereich zu nähern, sehen sie ein mexikanischer Mann Blick in die Eier. Der Mann bittet um Hilfe aus der blonden Frau über die Qualität von Eiern. Sie sagt, ABD Eggs sind die besten, so dass die mexikanischen Kerl entscheidet, dass. Beim Verlassen des kleinen Jungen zeigt auf den Mexikaner Jungs Hut und ruft: "Aliens!" die Mutter bekommt wirklich peinlich und ruft ihren Sohn für sein Verhalten und sagt, es ist nicht richtig. Die Mutter wird erleichtert, dass sie sagen, dass die mexikanischen Kerl konnte nicht hören, da er Musik hören. Auf dem Weg aus der Mutter entdeckt einen violetten Flüssigkeit tropft aus der mexikanischen Jungs Haar. Sie fragt ihn, und er antwortet "Sein das Haargel". Die Blondine und Sohn nickt und setzt auf ihr Leben

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

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Knock knock. Nobody answers because the homeowner was out of the house at the time.

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Q:If pigs ever played basketball, then what sound would they make? A:Oink-oink

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What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

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A black guy walks into a dilapidated house and purchases large amounts of narcotics. Racism isn't funny.

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What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

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Roses are red Cranberries are tart It sure stinks when you fart

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What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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