What's are the screams and terror when midnight hits? Vannlia Ice's face.

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3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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Q: Why do so many people write "So a man walked into a bar" A: Because they lack the intellect to think of something creative, and still other peoples material.

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A woman walked into the doctors office with a black eye. The doctor asked: How did you get that? The woman said: I fell.

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

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who is awesome? no one...

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why did the man tell a joke? to make people laugh

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a man walked into a bar.... when i say bar i mean a metal pole, the man suffered from concussion

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two blondes walk into a bar... to get to the other side

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Q: What do you call a white guy cooking a dinner? A: A chef

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Why did sally fall of the swing? SHE HAD NO ARMS!

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Im So Hood... That When I go Shopping, I Buy Sweatshirts with Hoods

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Why did the little girl stop going to dance class? She broke both of her legs in a terrible train accident

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Do you believe this will change?

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what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

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God is almighty, as such he ANSWERS TO NO ONE! Moral: What you praying for then bitch?

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Why do women get pregnant? Beacuse it hurts and they deserve it.

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Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

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"Hello?" "Is your refrigerator running??" "Yes..." "Oh. Well then have a nice day."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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