Im So Hood... That When I go Shopping, I Buy Sweatshirts with Hoods

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two blondes walk into a bar... to get to the other side

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why did the man tell a joke? to make people laugh

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who is awesome? no one...

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a man walked into a bar.... when i say bar i mean a metal pole, the man suffered from concussion

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Why did the little girl stop going to dance class? She broke both of her legs in a terrible train accident

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what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

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God is almighty, as such he ANSWERS TO NO ONE! Moral: What you praying for then bitch?

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Why do women get pregnant? Beacuse it hurts and they deserve it.

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Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

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A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

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"Hello?" "Is your refrigerator running??" "Yes..." "Oh. Well then have a nice day."

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they turned around and went home

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Why did George ride his bike to the park? Due to the down economy his parents were forced to sell his bike in order to pay their bills.

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How do you confuse a blond? Begin talking to her about a subject that's not in her field of expertise using complicated technical verbiage and jargon.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Drunk irish man

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how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 to 8 hours. you give her m&m's and tell her to spell a word.

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how many moms can you fit in a bathtub? as many as you want

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What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

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Jameson: hey peter peter parker: what Jameson: do you know what my favorite kind of beans are Peter: no Jameson: van de camps

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mat: whats 2+2? emma: how long we lasted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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