I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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There are two hippos in a bathtub, one says to the other, "pass the soap." the other hippo says, "no soap, radio."

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Whats worse than 12 babys stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 12 trees!

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? Because 6 accused him of cannibalism

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Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Yo mamas so fat

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<3 ... it looks more like scissors than a heart...

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the

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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why was your family so sad? because you died due to your uncle's son's cousin urinating all over you as a baby causing you to sting yourself continually. did i mention you were born as a scorpion while your family members were all human beings making them neglect and throw you away in their trash when you would always climb out. your family secretly hid affection for you. back to the beginning. when you died everyone in the whole world except bill cosby got cancer at the exact moment you died, but years later (because bill cosby is immortal), he got down syndrome after everyone who was alive during your death died. that is why he goes doo dop bip babbity today.

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that awkward moment when your teachers a duck

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How did th-A fridge.

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What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

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Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

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what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

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What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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hi corey

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What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

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*insert joke here*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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