Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

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How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

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Q. why was Martin Luther King assassinated? A. he wasn't his son was

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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So, North Korea is getting ready to nuke the US... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Penis... Okay...

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Q.whats the worlds funniest joke???? A.not this one this ones crap

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Penis

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

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what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

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What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

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Q: what is funny today A: your parents died in a horrible car accident

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops