A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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Guess how old my lil bro is...Well your wrong cause he's dead.

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The world's smartest man walks into a bar. And he orders the best most reasonably priced drink.

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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That awkward when you adimaticlly read "moment in your head because you have seen too many of these awkward moment jokes.

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What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

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Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

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Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? Ones fun to jump on, the others just a trampoline.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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4 black people in a car drive of a cliff. the sad thing is there was a extra seat.

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Why did the kid kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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yfygcugyuyc

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How many testicles did Adolph Hitler have? Two.

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Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it ERRMMMMM UAHHHHHHHH...

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If I was a regular squirrel, I would be pissed at flying squirrels.

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Q: Why did Katie fall of the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Katie

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What do you call a girl who got raped by ger dad? Casey Anthont

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A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

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Why is 6 afriad of 7? because 7 killed 8 with a pistol and is now on a killing spree.

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How do you stop a black guy from drowning? You take your foot off of his face

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Q: What do you call a dyslexic Irish man with no legs? A: Handicapped

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A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

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A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops