A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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A man goes to his doctor and his doctor says, "I've got good news and bad news, which do you want first?" The man says, "The good news." The doctor says, "You were supposed to say the bad news, now you've ruined the joke."

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What is brown and sticky? Black tar heroin.

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Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

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Why was he arrested? He broke the law.

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what did the asain have for dinner? A: rice

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Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N Porn.

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Why is John gay? Because he enjoys the penis

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Q: Why can't Eric drive a car? A: Because Eric is a rock

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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A muslim walks into a gay bar.

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women's rights.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my penis, so suck it baby.

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Knock knock! Who's There? @HurricaneKris4 on Twitter Ok I'll follow you...

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Murder me once, shame on you.

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A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

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Why did the old man have only one foot? Sadley, the other one was shot off in World War II and life hasnt been the same for him since.

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How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

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When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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