What do you get when you put white cheese in a blender and turn it on? White cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a kid with cancer? screwed

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black guy walks into a shoe store and buys a pair of size 14 shoes. The cashier smiles and says: so is it true what they say about big feet? The black guy laughs for a moment and responds: yeah it's really hard to find socks that fit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the man fall down? He got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I Love The Music Only Jazz and Blues.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

SHEA CAPOLUPO HAS A TINY SHLONG. 8- turn your head sideways haha.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the blonde become a cannibal? Because she got hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What Can't You See and Stinks A Fart.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you make a homeless man cry? you throw away his trash.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse then 10 babies nailed to one tree? Nailed to 10 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +3

your moms tits are so big she may have breast cancer she may have breast cancer which takes approximitely 300,000 lives per year

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do u get when u mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A-lick-alot-a-puss

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Guess what? Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops