Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

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What do you call a dancing panda bear? I'm not sure, but panda bears are pretty big, so the possibility of them dancing is highly unlikely.

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What do you say to Michael and Justin? The Game

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Cavan keely's the type of guy who drives past hilltown screaming GET IT THE VAN!!

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A man is so drunk that the alcohol has a biphasic effect on the body, meaning that its effects change over time. Initially, alcohol typically produces feelings of relaxation and cheerfulness. Increased consumption, however, can lead to dehydration, coordination problems, blurred vision, and a great number of health, medical, and social issues and other drinking problems caused by alcoholism. As articulated above, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to drunkenness. One of the short term effects of intoxication is the lowering of an individual's inhibitions. As a consequence, when people are intoxicated they frequently do things they normally would not do while sober, often ignoring legal, ethical, social, and moral or religious norms. While blurred vision, slurred speech, dehydration, and coordination can be labeled as "alcohol short term effects," other health problems such as alcohol related heart disease, liver disease, and cancer, on the other hand, can be labeled as long term effects of alcohol abuse and alcoholism. This, however brief, is an overview of the effects of alcohol. What remains to be discussed, however, is what Paul Harvey calls "the rest of the story." Essentially, "the rest of the story" is a more detailed analysis of how excessive alcohol affects an individual's life and the lives of those around him or her when the person becomes an alcoholic and suffers from alcoholism. Perhaps the most logical way to discuss this complex topic is to focus first on the classic alcoholic behaviors and effects of alcohol in the four states of alcoholism; then examine some of the "social effects" of alcohol and alcoholism and finally, discuss the medical conditions, health issues, and drinking problems that are caused directly or indirectly by alcoholism.

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why is the black man black? because he isnit white

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What is the difference between a dog being hit by a car and an Arab being hit by a car? There are skidmarks before the dog

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What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

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What's worse than rush hour traffic? Your childhood friend, Ricky, was just brutally killed by a street cleaner

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Worst joke to tell an orphan. Knock knock. Who's there. Not your parents

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Why did the chicken refuse to cross the road? Yo dawg, dat chicken saw dat hoe Sally crossin da road, dat biatch got hit wit a fridge. Dat chicken was like "hell naw, yall must be trippin, i aint finna die over dat shiet homie, peace!"

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What did I do last night?work

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How tall is the grass in Germany? ZIS HIGH! *put hand about an inch and half off the ground* I mow it about every ozher week

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a man walks into a bar....... thats it.

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this guy didnt get any pussy last night so go easy on him I I I V

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Would you like a better house, car, spouse, and a better life all together? No, no thanks.

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a gay guy walks into a bar what does he do? buys a drink after a hard day at work

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HEy Hey Hey! Lakers are so going to bounce back!

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What's the difference between a catcher's mitt and Lou Ferrigno? If you seriously said "I don't know, what?" I suggest getting a medical examination by a professional psychologist.

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Yo mamma so mexican she brought tacos to the dinner table

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How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream cone? Because he was hit by a truck.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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What did the cop do when he saw two Mexicans buying coke? Warned them of the health risks of drinking carbonated soft drinks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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