What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

knock knock whos there? how should I know?

What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

Your mama's so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

Dat ass, or dem titties? Your choice.

That didn't hurt.

What do you say when you take a nasty shit in you friends bathroom? There's some nasty shit in there.

Knock knock. Who's there? John John who John

Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

What do you call: A black person, A white person, A mexican, A Jew, And an athiest? Whatever their names are!

Q.whats the worlds funniest joke???? A.not this one this ones crap

Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

How much did the Holla Cost?

A russian gives away vodka.

Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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