A man walks to a bar. The door was locked and had a closed sign so he walks away and goes home.

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Why did Michael Jackson became a white person? Because the society hates black people

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your mom is so blind she cant read.

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Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

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knock knock who's there police

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what did the jaguar and the girl have in common? Spots, the girl had the chicken pox

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Whats funnier than a Dead Baby in a bathtub? Nothing Thats as good as it gets!

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Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

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Chicken

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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a kid calls 911 and says ,"is this 911?" and the operator says ,"NO! THIS IS PATRICK!!!!!!"

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how do you kill a blonde? shoot her in the face with a pistol

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Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

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Black people. They are so kind.

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People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

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What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

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A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

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Where did Lil' Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? No one OK???? BYE, BYE U still there? Yeah Umm . . . ?

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What do you call a pack of black people. Nothing you racist -_-

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What did the pedefile say to the child? Get in the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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