Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

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A man walks into the doctors and he says to the doctor 'my leg hurts when I poke it like this'. The doctor replies 'don't poke it like that then'.

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IU football

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I pushed him????????

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why was the boy mad at school? something probably upset him.

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What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

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Q:What is the differenc between batman and a black man? A: Batman can go out in the night with out robin

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Whats Black and White all Over? Ask Your Mother

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so one day i was getting my daughter artemisia ready for school and so i came in her room and got her pants and so i put it on and then i said did you grow during the summer really did you and then she said daddy both of my feet are stuck on one side of the leg

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a bin lorry

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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A girl is on the phone with her boyfriend the boy friend has a rash the girl said put ointment on it ointment cures everything the boyfriend responded not cancer.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he fell off a cliff

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Does this napkin smell like chlorofoam?

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What's the cure to Ebola? Suicide

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Are you sure Jewsus was not a Jew?

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Whats black, blue, and doesn't like sex? The little boy in my trunk.

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What is brown and sticky? Black tar heroin.

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YOUR MOM HAS A DICK IN HER ASSCHEEKS!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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