"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

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Knock Knock Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you!- Napoleon Dynamite

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Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?!" ...Two days later, both of the cannibals became very ill with food poisoning. Always ensure meat is cooked thoroughly before eating.

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Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!

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Q: Why was the blonde in a black car? A: Becasue the car was a herse and she was killed a week before in an accident where the other driver was drunk Becasue his wife had left him with no money and no kids to come home to.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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why the woman scream when she arrived at her surprise party? Everyone was dead!

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Why was the baby smoking? He was locked in a hot car.

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(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

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MILEY CYRUS: ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME! ME: O GOD CALLED HE SAID YOUR A HOE TO

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

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whats blue and can be seen in the sky? the sky.

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How do you avoid dying? You can't everything dies.

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peter charastabopouloulous

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You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

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Q:If a lesbian woman is wearing a jean jacket, high heels, camouflage shorts, and sunglasses, what gender is she ? A: Sheep.

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what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

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IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO TAKE!

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this website is the funniest thing i've ever seen, besides everything i've seen that's funnier than it

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What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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A christian was diagnosed with cancer. He refused chemo and prayed to god. Eventually, he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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