what reason a man dont cry when the dog of his own childs dies? *guess the answer now a) he killed it b) he didnt like it c) a + b

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Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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Knock knock, Come in...

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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What do a white dog and a black dog have in common? They're both white...except for the black one

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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want to hear a bird joke? no well, this is hawkward

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There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

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Why did the black man cry? He had no rights.

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Your mother is so unintelligent that her IQ score is equal to or lower than 2 standard deviations below the national average of 100 on the Mensa approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and supervised.

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What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

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Why did the airplane crash? It was hit by a flying refrigerator.

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A black baby dies and goes to Heaven. When god put wings on him the baby sais, "Ahh gee god am I an angel?" Then god sais, "Nahh nigga you a bat."

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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Why don't women know how to drive a car? Because there are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

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A Black guy and a Mexican guy walk into the bar. The bar tender offers to buy them a round of drinks because he can tell they had a hard day at the office.

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How do you make a doctor cry? Kill his family.

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how did the monkey fall out of the tree he was stupid how did the monkey get a black eye he was hit by a bus how did the monkey end up in the sewer he got hit by another bus

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what do you call a baby that's just been crushed by a piano. a mess for a cleaner to deal with. think about his health. after that he might get a disease from the body and he might not get to sleep as it is a haunting sight.

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Why did the black man break a woman's ribs? Cardiovascular resuscitation is an emergency procedure often used outside of hospitals to revive unconscious individuals before medical professionals are able to intervene. Sometimes having your life saved comes at a cost.

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Q: Why did the plain crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. By: LV

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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