Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

Q: What has four legs and an arm. A: A pitbull on a playground

Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

Knock Knock Whos there? I dunno I didnt answer the door

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how do you make a orange juice. get orange juice and pour it in a cup.

ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I LOVE YOUR MOMA CAUSE SHE STINKS OF POO :) BY VICKY CASSIDY, RENATA SZABO, ELLA AND HEIDI MCMILLAN

what's red and blue? your heart

Yo momma so fat She has heart problems

A friend of yours tells you his version of The Aristocrats. You just wasted about 5-20 minutes of your life.

Do the Helen Keller... become mute, deaf, and blind.

Wanna hear a joke? Obamacare.

Why does the sultan of Turkey wear red suspenders? So that his pants wouldn't fall down.

What do you call an elephant on the moon? Dead.

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on how much you compress them.

what's retarded and has red hair? You. ;)

sooo.how do you get a bonner when your in a room with lady gaga???? you tell lady gaga to turn around and you think of brittany spears bending over get it nahhh probably not

Why did the little boy drop his Ice cream? He had no arms(:

Geography Teacher: Bill, British Columbia agreed to join confederation when the government of Canada agreed to do what? Bill: To build a bridge to where my father is who is divorced with my mom.*tear* Geography Teacher: Is that really nesscary Bill? You have a detention.

How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

What's black, white, and red all over? A murdered interracial couple.

Why did the boy drop his Ice cream? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him.

Why could the woman not play the game monopoly? Because she did not own the game monopoly

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Nothing because saying a fish can talk is like saying Obama is a good president.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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