On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

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Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

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Your friend is so gay that he came out of the closet and was accepted warmly by his friends and family for who he is a human being.

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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What is the best type of pepper? Well, some people say that the yellow pepper is the sweetest and most delicious, although others prefer red, green or orange peppers.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

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I black guy was walking down a street when he saw a beautiful women and said to her that she looked lovely

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The colour of their skin.

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why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

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ok so what is big yellow and can not swim well dont look for the answer deuce bag

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If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

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Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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why did the internet crash? it didn't

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

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A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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