knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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How old is your mom? Old.

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Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

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Nickelback

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F U C K Y O U W I T H Y O U R A N T I J O K E S

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3 Mormon men walk by a blonde woman eating a banana. They are not distracted by this and continue their journey of spreading Christianity.

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Two Atheists walk into a bar. A nearby Christian notices this fact and proceeds to slightly preach to both of the Atheists. They then kindly explain that they don't personally believe in God, but respect the Christian's opinion. They all order drinks, and become very close friends, engaging in a long, hateless conversation.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Camero? - The Camero isn't in my garage.

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Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside.

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what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

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Howmuch wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Anyone? I'm trying to settle a bet.

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

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Two dogs walk into a room. What a fine example of two dogs walking into a room.

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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A Black man a Chinese man and a Jew walk in to a bar. Black man: nice place they got here Asian man: yeah I remember when it used to be that old hardware store Jew: Henry's, i think it was called Aisian man: must have been there for at least 10 years or so

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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Weiner

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Why was the fat person sad? Because he was fat.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

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Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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