What's red and green and goes around and around? A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a girl? You call the proper authorities. Don't try to be a hero.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happens when you mix Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, and Potassium? NaBrO

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when an elephant and a penguin have a baby? Dunno, it's seems highly improbable.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:If a lesbian woman is wearing a jean jacket, high heels, camouflage shorts, and sunglasses, what gender is she ? A: Sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock who's there? Hi! where from the church of latter day saints!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

thumb_up thumb_down -1

John Katzenbach were drinking a soda... He is the author of The Psicoanalist

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your momma is so dumb, that when she took the IQ test her scores were considerably lower then average.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are blue violets, are orange, i am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats your name? bumder:)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. What did the fat guy get for his birthday? A. diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call someone allergic to water ? Waterproof

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A muslim walked into a bar. Then he walked out because he had made a wrong turn.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops