what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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How do you kill yourself You jump of a cliff

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Does it not sound kinda fun to keep slapping someone that always turns the other cheek?

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What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

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What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Man walks into a gun store, buys a gun. The same man goes home and lives happily till he dies of cancer. His son takes the gun shots himself, survives then later dies of cancer.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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The Treatment of Steve Bartman

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What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had cancer.

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Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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Yo mom's so fat, she's overweight !

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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How much did the Holla Cost?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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