P1 : Yo mamma's so fat... P2: My moms dead

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Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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Weiner

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If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

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This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

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A proton and a neutron talk to each other. Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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Why did the Mexican put away the Marijuana? Because he was a Police Officer

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To eat it of course

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He was dead.

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The Bible

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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if life gives you lemons you probably have problems

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What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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Why was little Timmy an orphan? His family were slaughtered when he was three.

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What did the Lumberjack say before cutting down the tree? Nothing, it's his job.

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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What do you get when you mix your mom and your dad? YOU!!!

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Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

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Republicans

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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