Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

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Anything Dane Cook says

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So this guy's taking a hooker back to a hotel room, right? The woman turns out to be a federal agent investigating prostitution in inner-city inviornments, and the man is promptly arrested. He is now subject to a large fine and 90 days in a county jail.

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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Why did the boy fail gym? He had cancer and had to amputate both of his legs.

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

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Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

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why do humans have gall bladders? I honestly don't know

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Q: What was so funny about the death of Michael Jackson? A: There wasn't anything funny. He was one of the best pop stars ever and many people loved him.

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Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

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Why did the tractor run over the little boy? because he was in the way!

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How full could a skeleton's stomach possibly be? Replete with perceptible emptiness.

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What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

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How do you treat a homeless man? Like any other person, you disgusting fuck.

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What kind of cat has no tail? Manx cat

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The term "serial killer" is a bit strong...i prefer "ghost manufacturer"

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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A. Four gay men walked into the bar there was one stool left what did they do? B. They flipped the chair upside down By grant c

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Q: What do you call a fly with no wings. A: Dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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