knock knock whos there? how should I know?

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

Knock knock Who's there A drummer A drummer who I'm not knocking on your door

How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

Whats better than winning a Paralympic Gold Medal? Having Legs.

:O + :P = 69

What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

Smart Blondes

That didn't hurt.

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

Knock Knock Who's there its me... we need to talk go away tod. i told you never to come back here babe, just open the door why? so you can beat me again? i said i was sorry! i just want to see my little girl... well maybe you should of been there for us! babe... i love you you lying son of a bitch... you dont deserve us open the damn door or i will beat it down im calling the cops YOU BETTER NOT BITCH! I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! tod... please... get out come here no... NO! get the hell off of me!!!! HELP!! RAPE!! RAPE!!! SHUT UP WHORE (crying) please... please... ...mommy? SARAH! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! MOMMY LOVES YOU! ooh.. theres my little girl. you miss daddy? GET AWAY FROM HER!!! SHUT UP BITCH! come give daddy a hug what have you done to mommy? what you want some too? SARAH I SAID GET OUT THE HOUSE! GET HELP! ...mommy im scared... (sob) oh your crying? you want something to cry about? OH ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! .... you better get the hell out of here tod.. whoah... babe where did you get a gun GET OUT babe... put the gun down... relax NO YOU RELAX! all these years ive been raising this baby. without you. all by myself. and i dont want you in the picture now. ILL DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE ill see you in hell... (BANG) (BANG)

Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

What happened to the blonde who walked up to the vending machine? She got a snack and went on with her day.

A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

2 men shot up a morgue, 16 bodies remain dead

Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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