How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Bailey you suck at writing anti jokes quit!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :(

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

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A Black man, a Mexican, and a Midget, get in a car. They drive to the county fair and get snow cones and have a really fun time.

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What lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japanese People

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What sound does a baby make in a blender? Idk, i was too busy masturbating to hear.

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whydid the little boy drown? he can't swim

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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Ken wins!

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What did one mail box say to the other? NOTING! In-animate objects cannot speak...

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Goku: KAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Freezebox: HOLY SHI... Narrator: Will Goku ever finish his attack? Will Freezebox stand there like a fucking bitch afraid for the next 48 damn epiodes rather than take a step to the side? Will the "Zee" fighters ever do anything else but comment the trucking obvious and stop aborting the show with their sweat? Find out in the next episode of... Moral: DRAGONBULL ZHIT!

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh? Mooooooohahahahaha

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit

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Q: What did the littl boy with cancer get for christmas? A: Nothing, he didnt make it that far.

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I enjoy owboy butt sex with big black men please call me at 9528579236

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Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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How do you confuse and idiot? Purple.

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Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

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What's worse than the holocaust? 3,000,000 jews.

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Yo momma so fat She has heart problems

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow... She should think about scheduling an appointment at a local dentist's office.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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