There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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why do black people hate chainsaws? the noise they make- run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run nigga nigga

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How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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A flock of ostriches run into a mine field

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women playing football?

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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hi do you like guitars? cool i dont

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three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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Why did Martin go to school with no pants on? Because he had no legs.

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A Jew walks into a bar. It probably hurt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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roses are red violets are blue i uhh umm hold on... the man with Alzheimers proceeds to think of the rest of his poem he wrote for his date, after an hour he remembers but his date has left and the staff proceed to guide him out and back to the insane asylum

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How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

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Facebook...

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What's a black man's favorite food? It depends.

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What did the asian parent say to his kid when he got a D? -It's OK son, you will do better next time.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

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A mushroom walks into a bard and the bartender admonishes him and tells him to leave. The mushroom says "Aw, c'mon...you stupid jerk!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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asian, do math

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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