What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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Doctor, I've caught a cold. Take a Halls.

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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kronkel spasm dizzle nork is short for: i cant believe you bought a ninja monkey to scratch your clownitis! i am randomly going to have a spasm cause i am down with that dizzle..... lets watch a show callled norks! i am pregnant with your baby ducky.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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wanna hear a good joke? neither do I

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children driving off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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I have a crush on my dad.

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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What happened when Aladdin rubbed his lamp? It got slightly cleaner.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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Obama

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Ask me if i am a tree are you a tree? no

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A man and a dog were sitting on a hill, the dog says to the man "Nice weather we are having today isn't it?" The man then goes insane because dogs can't talk, then later commits suicide from depression caused by his wife leaving him.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. But it wasn't as good as he had hoped it would be.

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Hitler: I said PASS THE JUICE! not GAS THE JEWS!

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

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What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

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Why did the jew tie his shoes? because his shoes were untied

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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Q: What did Batman say to get robin into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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