Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Sharks have teeth, I have teeth, Therefore i am a cat.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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I'm growing tired of all those ADD jokes. I have ADD, and I... ... what time is it?

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

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why dont black people go on cruises? there not falling for that one again

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What's black and white and red all over? Colors

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How much does a mexican immigrant get paid? Less an minimum wage.

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Why were there teeth marks in the guys arm? He bit himself

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penis

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Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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What does WTF stand for? Welcome to Facebook!

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What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

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Q:If a lesbian woman is wearing a jean jacket, high heels, camouflage shorts, and sunglasses, what gender is she ? A: Sheep.

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What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A rabbit's fart.

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Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

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involved parents.

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How do you kill a Chinese man? There are many ways, all of which are horrible

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Q: why do shower heads have 11 holes? A: Jews only have 10 fingers

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Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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