Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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YOUIR MAMA IS SO UGLY THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO PLASTIC SURGERY TO BETTER HER APPEARENCE

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Q: What is the likely outcome of anyone who watches 'WWE'? A: They will lose their virginity to a hooker.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little Tommie is dead In a body bag Going to the dumpster Behind my house

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Knock Knock... Who's there... .....................

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Whats green all over and travels at 100mph A christmas tree in a gokart

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123 Main street

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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What did the girl with no hands get? Gloves.

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Your mother is so unintelligent that her IQ score is equal to or lower than 2 standard deviations below the national average of 100 on the Mensa approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and supervised.

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Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

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Toilet Sex, Toilet Sex I Love Toilet Sex!

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Why is it called a tea kettle Because it is a kettle and you make tea in it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -Why? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

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What sound does a baby make in a blender? Idk, i was too busy masturbating to hear.

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a guy gets knocked out and wakes up in a alley all bloody and a knife next to him!!!

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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My mom caught me masturbating.

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Roses are red Violets are penis

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One day i had to piss. I went to the bathroom.

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A: Have you ever heard of a blue waffle? B: Yes, i eat them every morning... A: DO you REALLY know what a blue waffle is? B: Yes...

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What did Freddie Mercurys father say at Freddies funeral. "Thats the cleanest hole our Freddies ever been in".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops