What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians? A groupie.

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried to to commit suicide.

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Whos the best Jewish Cook? Hitler.

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What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

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What's worse than a rainy day? Dropping the soap

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How did the asian woman's car get totaled She was hit by a drunk driver

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What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? My wife didn't cheat on me in a pile of dead babies.

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do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

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THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

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What sauce do chicken's hate? Bone suckin' sauce

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A bike that his father paid for with the salary he made as an accountant at a local bank.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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Why did the white man cry? Because his mistress, Shanghai, was threatening to tell his wife that they were in a relationship and, out of anger, he bashed Shanghai's head in and she is dead,

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What do the holocaust and 9/11 have in common? They were both terrible tragedies that people will look back upon in sadness for years.

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What do you say the big head boy? Brush yo teeth

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Ha

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A man walk into a bar. He then falls down, quickly picks himself up, and continues his life.

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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