Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

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What do you say when you take a nasty shit in you friends bathroom? There's some nasty shit in there.

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Doorbell salesman.

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What happened to the blonde who walked up to the vending machine? She got a snack and went on with her day.

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

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What do you call a black man that robs a bank? A bank robber

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What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

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WHATS BALCK AND YELLOW AND UNDER WATER? A BUMBLE BEE IN A SUBMARINE.... YEAH YOU BETTER #$%^ING LAUGH YOU HOMO

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whats worse then a baby with out floaties?.......beating your grandma to death with a puppy

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

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Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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what a filthy dirty mess also dirt

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What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Hey, Texas! Knock knock Texas: Who's there? Ebola

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What do you call a black guy, a white guy, a mexican guy, and a chinese guy jumping out of a plane? Skydivers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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