What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

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What did the homeless man without legs and arms, get for Christmas? ... Cancer

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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An Asian gets into her car to drive to her grandmother's house. She arrives at 6:30 and has a wonderful dinner.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

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Why did the black man jump off a cliff? He's been emotionally unstable ever since he witnessed the brutal murder of his parents as a child and could no longer live with himself, so he decided to commit suicide.

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What's the difference between red paint and blue paint? One looks like blood and is used a lot in restaurants. The other is blue.

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A proton and a neutron talk to each other. Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

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nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

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Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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whats the diffrence between love and faling in love when u love some one your not falling

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how do you make a dog roll over you kill it

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why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

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what's worse than finding a fat couple in a buffet?

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What do you call a cow in the grass... A cow in the grass... Dumbas*

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What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

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only downer about having sex in the dark is........................ when u look out window and guy u thought u were sleeping with waving and laugh

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Anagram.

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I was going to tell my mom an anti-joke. Then she died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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