A duck waddles into a bar. He orders a drink and promtly drinks it vecause he has had a hard day at work.

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

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wanna hear a joke? not really

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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How many testicles did Adolph Hitler have? Two.

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What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

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How do you make a mother at the playground cry? You steal her 3 year old daughter

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Why didn't the monkey fall out of the tree when someone threw a refrigerator at it? Because it was already lying on the floor dying of AIDS.

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How much Cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? A lot!

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What is long and black The unemployment line

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Who's a looser and has no friends??? Max!!! His address is 2131 HighHills Narrow...

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Male penises.

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What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

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ROSS G IS OBESE

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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Two men are sitting on the couch watching sports, the first man farts, the second chuckles. They continue watching their program.

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A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Knock Knock Hows there Theres no time for this you have AIDS

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What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

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The world's smartest man walks into a bar. And he orders the best most reasonably priced drink.

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Why didn't the blonde make it in a gun circle? The blonde yelled "Fire"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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