Why couldn't little Sally talk? Someone stapled her tongue to wall.

What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head walk into a bar They are friends from school and have not seen each other in 15 years; they are hoping to have a good night out

Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

Roses are red Violets are blue Your ugly

Doorbell salesman.

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? The Ferrari is expensive and the babies are in a nice hospital.

24!

What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

Society.

A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

What happened to boy who fell down the stairs? He died. What happened to the girl who fell down the same stairs? The boy who fell down the stairs hit her down the stairs too and they both died What happened to the man fell down these very same stairs? He got peer pressure and committed suicide.

Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

Yes.

I'm banging your sister.

How do you feed a mockingbird? Give it some food.

What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

Your social life

A white man walked in da hood aaand he never came back

What did Helen Keller see on her trip? Nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...