Billy's alarm clock went off at 8:00 AM but Billy was really tired but still his Dad forced him to go to school.

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What do you call someone allergic to water ? Waterproof

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why was the boy mad at school? something probably upset him.

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's ... Roses are Red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's (continues)

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What has wheels and flies? An Airplane

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Why is there world hunger? Because you touch yourself at night.

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You're mum is so fat, she has low self-esteem

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How do you make Al Gore cry? Kill his daughter.

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how do you make a family tan? You burn them in the house.

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what reason a man dont cry when the dog of his own childs dies? *guess the answer now a) he killed it b) he didnt like it c) a + b

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Q: What do you get when you cross a rare breed of penguin with a horse. A: Well to be fair, turtles have shells

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Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrarri? A dead baby is a non-living human, while a Ferrarri is a brand of car.

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What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

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Your mother is so unintelligent that her IQ score is equal to or lower than 2 standard deviations below the national average of 100 on the Mensa approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and supervised.

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The weels on the bus go...flat

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Would you like a better house, car, spouse, and a better life all together? No, no thanks.

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Knock knock who's there? Hi! where from the church of latter day saints!

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Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

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What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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