how did little johnny die? i killed him

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Ryan Chang is funny.

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Why are black people so tall ? Genetics. duh.

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A Priest and A Rabbi Walk Into The Bar. Ouch.

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Why really answer a question when you can just respond, "because you touch yourself." For example, Q: Why did fluffy die? A: Because you touch yourself.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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Once my grandpa said: Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I said: No. Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I unplugged his life support.?

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What do you call a unicorn without a horn? A horse.

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What do you get when an elephant and a penguin have a baby? Dunno, it's seems highly improbable.

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whats the difference between colby and a high schooler? Colby hasn't matured yet

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Worst joke to tell an orphan. Knock knock. Who's there. Not your parents

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a man walks into a bar it hurt

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Why was the black man scared to leave his house? Because he saw a load of mutated zombies outside his door trying to kill him. However, he realised that this was not possible and was not scared anymore. He went outside but got hit by a fridge and died...

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Why did the white man kill the black man? Because he was a racist that didn't care much for black people or their ways.

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What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

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why was the boy mad at school? something probably upset him.

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What do you call someone allergic to water ? Waterproof

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Billy's alarm clock went off at 8:00 AM but Billy was really tired but still his Dad forced him to go to school.

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Two rabbis standing at the buffet cart. The first exclaims "Oy vey, those pork chops look good!". The second shrugs, turns to his friend and remarks, "So do your wife's norks".

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

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What has wheels and flies? An Airplane

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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