What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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"knock knock" "ill get it honey" "no stay in the kitchen bitch!"

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"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

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What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

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What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar and theres only one bar stool left how do they all sit down on that one bar stool. They flip the bar stool around and sit down all together

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What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

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what do you call a somone who murders someone else? black.

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The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

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47

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what happend when the car hit the wall? it exploded and 4 people were injured, 2 were bystanders

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Your momma is so dumb, that when she took the IQ test her scores were considerably lower then average.

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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If you replace all the letters in your name with G A Y it spells Gay... your gay

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What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? One is easier to unload with a pitchfork.

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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How long will it take for a dog to paint a color wheel? I don't know.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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Flying aboriginal on a magic carpet

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(Family sat down at table) *Child goes to start a story* - "I have a ginger friend.." Everyone bursts out laughing and leaves the child confused.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

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Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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