Why couldn't little Sally talk? Someone stapled her tongue to wall.

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What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LJP1DphOWPs#!

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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Watch this summer, as General Jack Ryu, attempts to fight his way across the jungle only known as "The streets" as he seeks to save Mary.Bison from the evil clutches of Master Jamie Ken in this epic written trailer! Jack Ryu: So we are brothers? Jamie Ken: No, I am your failed clone! I spontaneously begin burning from me feet and hands! WHHHHHHYYYY WAS I NOT THE CHOOOOOSEN ONE!!!!!! Mary B: Ryu... He is the fifth! THE FIFTH HAS ARRIVED! Jim "Dan" Daniels: Yes certainly, it is well within my scientific genius to create the fifth, yet my former associate Bob Sagat lost an eye in an explosion... CAN JACK RYU SAVE THE WORLD FROM THE MOST DEVASTATING BOMB IN THE UNIVERSE: THE AKUMA BEFORE JAMIE KEN UNLEASHES IT? CAN JACK RYU... FIGHT TROUGH THE STREETS... AND LIVE UP TO THE FIFTH AND SAVE MARY BISON? ALL DEPENDS IF HE CAN CONTROL HIS INNER CHUN LI! STREET FIGHTER V: rEVOLUTION

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Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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How do you feed a mockingbird? Give it some food.

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Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

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Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

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Q: What did Batman say to get robin into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

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what colour is a frog green you idiot

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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what ya call e dong withb eyes peeneyes

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

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What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

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Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

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Two Atheists walk into a bar. A nearby Christian notices this fact and proceeds to slightly preach to both of the Atheists. They then kindly explain that they don't personally believe in God, but respect the Christian's opinion. They all order drinks, and become very close friends, engaging in a long, hateless conversation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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